My mom, Martha, turned 91 on May 24, 2024! In the picture she is with my grandson, Logan, from a while ago. Martha's enduring gifts of love and wisdom have been a constant source of inspiration, despite her growing physical limitations. She started losing her ability to get around without a walker several years ago; in fact, she’s had two knee replacements, two shoulder replacements, and a hip replacement (she truly is the bionic woman!). Having arthritis isn’t for the timid.

Over the last few years she’s been losing her eyesight, with barely enough left to see to get around.

Her hearing is failing her but she’s doing well enough to be able to listen to audio books, and she’s always telling me how grateful she is for them.

Dexterity in her hands is eluding her to where it’s difficult for her to sometimes feel things. Thus she can’t get herself fully dressed or fix most of her meals. Working the TV remote can be a challenge.

I hope at this point you’re grateful for the physical health that you do have, but that’s not the point of this article.

The True Gifts We Can Offer

The point is, as long as you’re mentally able to make choices, you have several important gifts that you can give to people if you so choose, no matter your physical ailments.

In fact, these gifts are much more valuable than those that can be purchased at a store and wrapped in a box that are soon forgotten.

These are gifts that you’ll be remembered for giving.

(1) The Gift of Conversation

That means being more interested in them than yourself.

Yes, I know, this is rare these days.

So how do you become interested in other people? Practice curiosity - ask them questions about whatever THEY are interested in. Relate to them with some stories about how you might have experienced the same thing or something similar. But please refrain from “one-upping” them.

I learned a long time ago from Dr. James Dobson that a good conversation is like a tennis match; the other person hits the ball to you, you hit it back to them. When they state something, ask them a question about what they just said, again, don’t try to one-up them.

When they respond, ask them another question.

This is good listening practice.

(2) The Gift of Prayer

Praying always helps.

When I do my volunteer work that can sometimes be challenging, I ask people to pray for me, including my mom. Knowing they are praying for me means I’m not going into that volunteer situation alone - I’ve got people in my corner that are rooting for me.

And as a bonus, make sure you follow-up with them and ask how their situation has gone.

(3) The Gift of a Card

Birthday, thank you, get well soon, etc.

I often buy cards for my mom at the store. She says she wants a birthday card for a friend of hers. I ask her “Do you want it mushy, funny, or just nice, so some kind of combination?” Depending upon the person, she’ll choose the type of card that is right for the situation. I’ll search through the rack and ones that I think fit, I’ll then read the card to her and she decides if that’s right or not.

Recently she sent a friend of hers a card that was simple and nice with a slight touch of humor. Her friend was VERY appreciative of it.

(4) The Gift of an Appropriate Attitude

Being able to see the good in a circumstance when it calls for it, as well as sympathizing when things are tough.

When we’re grieving, we want someone to grieve with us; when we’re celebrating, we want someone to pump their fist in the air with us. And when we’re having a personal pity-party, we need someone to kick us in the rear and/or offer encouragement.

My mom can still do this, and often does.

Sometimes just talking with her about a problem I’m having, or a success, gives me knew insights that occur because I’m verbalizing it and listening to myself.

Other times, she’ll give me some good thoughts.